Nel Mercer (she/they) earned a BA in Psychology and English at Amherst College; a MA in Socio-Legal Studies at Sheffield University; a MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Lifespan Development at San Diego State University; and a MS in Counseling with an emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy at San Diego State University. 

Nel works with individuals, couples, and families, using systemic, non-pathologizing, and strength-based approaches.  She has experience working in both therapeutic and educational settings in the areas of sexuality, consensual non-monogamy, and gender exploration and transition.  She is trauma-informed, attachment-oriented, and deeply committed to working in a collaborative and non-hierarchical way.  Whether clients’ concerns relate to life transitions, identity development, relationship conflict, anxiety, or depression, Nel creates an environment in which clients feel safe, seen, and heard.  

Nel’s primary therapeutic modalities are parts work and mindfulness, particularly mindful self-compassion.  Mindfulness grounds us in an embodied way, even when we choose to investigate pain from our past or fears about our future.  Parts work acknowledges the many different parts or aspects of our minds and personalities.  Bringing awareness and acceptance to each of our parts fosters integration and leads to greater flexibility, choice, and personal growth in the many domains of our lives, including interpersonal relationships. 

Nel identifies as White (Eastern and Western European), polyamorous, pansexual, and gender fluid, and is exploring her Jewish identity as well as other spiritual and religious traditions.  Nel grew up in multiply-blended families on both coasts; lived, studied and worked in different countries; and taught psychology classes at community colleges.  She has been married for thirty-five years and raised three now-adult children.